It's time for the jokes, folks!
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It's time for the jokes, folks!
Lots of other FC forums have a jokes section (and we did on the penultimate one), so it's time we did.... but KEEP THEM CLEAN please or they will be deleted
Don't worry. Mt 6:25-34
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
A report says that 70% of 14-year old girls in Telford go binge-drinking every week.
That's terrible. Genuinely shocking.
I mean, who's looking after their kids?
That's terrible. Genuinely shocking.
I mean, who's looking after their kids?
Don't worry. Mt 6:25-34
- Soup Dragon
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
Police hunting the 'knitting needle nutter' who has stabbed 26 people up the rear end over the last 48 hours, reckon he is following a pattern.
It took me years to understand "here's" from "hears", so their you go!
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
I bought a Scouse Advent Calendar today, chocolates had already been nicked and the windows were all boarded up.
MFL Div 1 2025
- Soup Dragon
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
The wife was counting all the 1p's and 2p's out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself, "She's going through the change."
It took me years to understand "here's" from "hears", so their you go!
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
Soup Dragon wrote:The wife was counting all the 1p's and 2p's out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself, "She's going through the change."
Don't worry. Mt 6:25-34
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
"My Mum always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana"
HTFCSA 'Supporter of the Year' 2014
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HTFCSA 'Supporter of the Year' 2014
Original HTFCSA #2
Original PPD number 21
- Del
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
Glyn wrote:Lots of other FC forums have a jokes section (and we did on the penultimate one), so it's time we did.... but KEEP THEM CLEAN please or they will be deleted
...and we have one as well now! Power to the People!!
"My Mum always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana"
HTFCSA 'Supporter of the Year' 2014
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HTFCSA 'Supporter of the Year' 2014
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- Soup Dragon
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.
It took me years to understand "here's" from "hears", so their you go!
- Soup Dragon
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
This man pushed me into a bag of peanuts, so I told the police - they asked me if I was assaulted - I said 'No - dry roasted!!!'
It took me years to understand "here's" from "hears", so their you go!
- Soup Dragon
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
Q. How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?
A. To get to the other side.
A. To get to the other side.
It took me years to understand "here's" from "hears", so their you go!
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
... and still the funniest (clean) joke I've ever heard....
Two camels walking across the desert.
One says to the other: "I don't care what they say, I'm thirsty"
Two camels walking across the desert.
One says to the other: "I don't care what they say, I'm thirsty"
Don't worry. Mt 6:25-34
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
Two tigers walking down the high street. One turns to the other and says, "It's a bit quiet today..."
Rubbish I know so I'll wait for the crimbo crackers before I make my next offering
Rubbish I know so I'll wait for the crimbo crackers before I make my next offering
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
Perton Pitman wrote:
Rubbish I know so I'll wait for the crimbo crackers before I make my next offering
Okay - here you are then .. one Christmas cracker!!
"My Mum always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana"
HTFCSA 'Supporter of the Year' 2014
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HTFCSA 'Supporter of the Year' 2014
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- Soup Dragon
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."
It took me years to understand "here's" from "hears", so their you go!
- Soup Dragon
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
The price of hearing aids has gone up.
Deaf people across the country are going "how much?"
Deaf people across the country are going "how much?"
It took me years to understand "here's" from "hears", so their you go!
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue and I couldn't put it down.
It took me years to understand "here's" from "hears", so their you go!
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
Has someone bought you Tim Vine's joke book as an early Christmas present?
Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grubb.
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
Is there a punchline to that joke?The Beerhunter wrote:Has someone bought you Tim Vine's joke book as an early Christmas present?
It took me years to understand "here's" from "hears", so their you go!
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
I had Jehovahs Witnesses come to the door today, feeling in a good mood I invited them in, showed them into the living room and asked them if they would like a cup of tea. I put the kettle on and said "now what was it you wanted to talk to me about".
One of them looked me straight in the eyes and said "I haven't got a clue we've never got this far before".
One of them looked me straight in the eyes and said "I haven't got a clue we've never got this far before".
MFL Div 1 2025
- Soup Dragon
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
Man UTD and Man City have joined forces to launch a new perfume for Christmas.
It's called Channel Number 5.
It's called Channel Number 5.
It took me years to understand "here's" from "hears", so their you go!
- Soup Dragon
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
I know it's personal, but it's no-one any of us know personally……..
I laughed out loud when I heard the Stoke fans singing, 'Gareth Bale, he looks like a chimp', this afternoon.
I laughed out loud when I heard the Stoke fans singing, 'Gareth Bale, he looks like a chimp', this afternoon.
It took me years to understand "here's" from "hears", so their you go!
- Soup Dragon
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
"History repeats itself" - the slogan for The History Channel + 1.
It took me years to understand "here's" from "hears", so their you go!
- Soup Dragon
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
A moth goes to an osteopath and says "I'm having a breakdown."
Osteopath says, "you should see a psychiatrist."
Moths says, "I was, but your light was on."
Osteopath says, "you should see a psychiatrist."
Moths says, "I was, but your light was on."
It took me years to understand "here's" from "hears", so their you go!
- Soup Dragon
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Re: It's time for the jokes, folks!
The officials at Worksop - they were a joke! Albeit, a bad one……..
It took me years to understand "here's" from "hears", so their you go!