Sarcasm

[Del]

A young man with his pants hanging half off his backside, two gold front teeth and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into his local welfare office to pick up his weekly benefit cheque.

He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just H A T E drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job .. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing."

The social worker behind the counter looked up and said "Your timing is excellent. We have just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2013 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.
You'll also be expected to escort his daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're taking the p**s!"

The social worker said, "Yes, well... You started it."

[Glyn]

All credit to Pepe Mel for doing his post-match interview in English.

If only Paul Lambert would do the same...

[Adam48]

A young man with his pants hanging half off his backside, two gold front teeth and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into his local welfare office to pick up his weekly benefit cheque.

He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just H A T E drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job .. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing."

The social worker behind the counter looked up and said "Your timing is excellent. We have just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2013 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.
You'll also be expected to escort his daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're taking the p**s!"

The social worker said, "Yes, well... You started it."

Champion. How often do we all get tempted to do this when you hear some one talking in the pub but never quite get enough courage to do it.

[Bob C]

Its a disgrace how the Southampton Manager is allowed to speak his native language at interviews on TV. I understand he can speak English. (No Probs) So boring.

[Del]

Totally agree Bob!

And if he cannot speak English - why is he allowed to work in this country.

[Glyn]

Totally agree Bob!

And if he cannot speak English - why is he allowed to work in this country.

Whole different thread there!!